The Ginosaji vs Panman (RichardGaleFilms vs Panman)

 

"I’m going to put death in their food and watch them die”

-Shirely Jackson 


Even while being scary, some horror movies still have a singe of comedy in them often due to the absurdity of their situation. Now, we are looking at two who more than push the idea of horror characters being absurd and comedic. We have The Ginosaji, from the Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely Inefficient weapon, and The Panman, from the comedy horror movie Panman. These two kitchen themed killers bring more than just satire to this fight. But when these two both enter the kitchen with the intention to kill, who is going to come out on top in a DEATH BATTLE?

Before We Start

Both series lack a huge amount of media, making what we will be using quite simple. Panman will get his movie, and The Ginosaji will get any official videos that feature him on the RichardGaleFilms YouTube channel.

Background

The Ginosaji

Some murders take seconds. Others take minutes. Some murders take hours. Now, this murder, takes Years!

For centuries, a demon would follow a bloodline, tormenting them with the slowest death possible. It’s not known what put such a curse on this family, or how to stop it. All they know for sure, is it’s coming, and it’s going to hit them… with a spooooonnn.. As we have seen, Jack cucciaco is the current one being haunted by this demon. He spent years running across the world, hiding anywhere he could find. Deserts, Arctics, and even underwater. But no matter where he tried to hide, and no matter if he fought back, it would never relent. Guns, RPGs, and tanks unable to stop this monster. Jack saw a symbol and learned it to be the symbol of The Ginosaji, aka The Silver Spoon. Something that will follow him to the ends of the earth and even universe, hitting him until he dies an Extremely Slow and Inefficient Death. 

Panman

Most people don’t believe he really exists, there’s only a few thousand of us who do, or have actually seen him.

30 years ago, a well known Russian chef named Vladimir Dolodrof had gone mad. For reasons not to well known, he snapped at one of his workers and started to strangle them. The rest of the staff then attacked Vladimir with a series of kitchen tools, before killing him. Due to dying in such an emotional state, a bit of his spirit was left behind. This spirit, able to possess other human body’s. From here, he became a demon, starting to take over the body’s of other people, and murdering dozens of culinary students, all because a man named Professor Hunter showed them Vladimir’s secret Poached Salmon recipe. A recipe he swore to take to his grave. Professor Hunter did this, in hopes to draw out Panman, so he could kill him for previously sleeping with his wife and ruining his marriage. And so a game of cat and mouse went on for years, as Professor Hunter tried to take down the Serial Killer, Panman

Experience/Skill

The Ginosaji

The Ginosaji is not without some skill. He’s been alive for centuries, attacking the Cucchiaio bloodline. He has thrown his spoon with enough precision to turn jacks weapon against himself or disarm him entirely. He very consistently shows to be able to disarm an opponent, and is a very effective fighter with his spoon. Not only up close, but he has shown to throw his spoon with precision to knock Jack over, or hit weapons out of his hand. He does drag out his murder intentionally, however, does it in a way to try and make it as painful as possible. He will use methods like slipping jacks helmet back on so, which actually causes it to hurt more. While he can and sometimes will take hits he knows he can take, he has shown in close quarters fights, he will sometimes dodge and avoid attacks, with fair skill in it. Jack has tried to fight back several times over the years, and always loses. Sometimes through their relenting durability. However they also show skill in dodging attacks if they choose to do so. Between hammers, knives, guns, or even his own spoons, he’s always been able to out do Jack in a direct fight, even somehow beat him when he had a tank.

Panman

The Panman has been implied to be a serial killer for a long time, often murdering college students, muggers, or just anyone unfortunate enough to cross his path. It's been said he’s been spotted all over the world, and art even depicts him at The Roman Colosseum. As well, it’s treated like knowledge of The Panman as a serial killer is extremely commonly known. He’s shown to be quite resourceful, using any kitchen hold item as a weapon, even including the metal part of an aluminum foil box to slit someone’s neck. It’s implied that he does train to actually fight with both his pans or even unarmed, even if we rarely see his victims fight back. He’s even thrown a pans lid accurate enough to stab through someone’s chest. He once fought a bodybuilder in a direct fight, and did win in the end. In his free time, he often crafts and works on his pans. Sometimes sharpening the handle to make it easier for stabbing with. When he marks his victims, he will prepare in advance for how he plans to kill them, such as having a sink filled with boiling water prepared to drown his victim, or even once being so prepared, he had plugged in a Waffle Iron and turned it on, as he predicted the man he would frighten would place his hand on it. Despite the goofy nature, he is still a resourceful and… semi competent killer.

Weapons

The Ginosaji

Melee

Range

  • A Spoon: He did technically use it as range by throwing it before a few times

Tools

  • A Spoon: It’s a spooooon

  • A Chest Suit of Spoons: A bunch of spoons strapped to his chest in case his first one breaks 

Panman

Melee

  • A Pan: It appears to be your average saucepan. He sharpens the handle for stabbing

  • Pan Lid: Used like a frisbee

  • Saucepan: A pan used for sauce, cracking skulls, and pouring the blood of his victims around

  • A Flat Pan: For all your flipping needs. Or murder

  • A Whisk: I don’t know what he would have done with this, but it’d kitchen based

  • A Microwave: It’s a big blunt pierce of metal

  • A Corkscrew: Good for stabbing someone’s eye

  • Wooden Cutting Board: It has the word Dolodrof carved in it

  • Potato Masher: Mashes more than potatoes

  • A Knife: This is more like it

  • Aluminum Foil cutter: You know the part of the cardboard that has metal to cut the aluminum….. yea. That

  • A Fork: Coincidental

Range

  •  Dish Soap: He can squirt it at people and make them eat it. Gross.

Tools

  • Pot: He wears a pot on his head for protection. It’s protected him from punching and knives

  • A Phone: He has Hopes number on it. 

  • A Car: He just stole this. It’s good for running people over

  • Spices: For cooking food

Abilities

The Ginosaji

Demon Physiology

The Ginosaji has a physiology far different from any average person likely due to being a demon/curse. He has been stabbed, shot, exploded, and his limbs cut off, and continues to move mostly unaffected, even able to control limbs even when cut off. He bleeds a black goop that seems to come endlessly, which it can spit out at people. He also seems to have various kinds of bugs inside him. Among this, he also has shown no end in stamina. He’s shown to attack for an entire day to weeks nonstop. It’s been said he’s chased after Jack for quite literal years. He’s even shown to carve a pumpkin over the course of several months, and stated that it doesn’t need food or sleep, and has shown it doesn’t need to breathe. The Ginosaji will also never stop until Jack is dead, potentially giving them infinite stamina.

Invisibility

Only jack seems to be able to see him, as anyone else doesn’t seem to acknowledge him. This is backed up with them not showing up when he took a picture of them, which is also stated here.

Regeneration

The Ginosaji has been shot many times with all kinds of guns, stabbed, and even had its crotched kicked through, and will show to always be fine soon after. It also has had an arm cut off before, and later had it back attached to its body. The extent of this regeneration is not fully shown, but it does seem to heal very quickly from basic stab and shot wounds.

Possession

The Ginosaji has shown to be able to take over a nurse's body and fully replace her body with its own. She also seemed not to notice it happening.

Teleportation

The Ginosaji has shown the ability to teleport. Such as appearing on a bus despite us seeing he never made it on board it. Appearing out of nowhere to hit Jack on the side of a curb.

Panman

Enhanced senses

Panman can see and read just fine even with a giant pot over their head, blocking their eyes from seeing anything. This doesn’t seem to affect any of his senses, as he shows to smell just fine, and can hear a phone, and even once heard someone trying to sneak up on him.

Teleportation

The Panman has shown the ability to teleport, such as appearing from an alleyway, to in front of his next victim in a mere moment. He suddenly was back upstairs after being thrown off a moment ago.

Possession

The Panmans spirit can leave its body and possess other people. He retains most control, however, it’s been said there are some cases where he doesn’t have all control and it can be fought back, such as Jeremy holding off Panman from killing who he thought was Hope, or when he possessed Professor Hunter, and couldn’t make him kill himself.

Other

The Ginosaji

Expert Tracker

No matter where Jack tried to hide in the world, The Ginosaji always was able to track him down. While it might argued that it might already know where Jack is, due to him being cursed with him. But the narrator states that “It will Find you”, implying that it does need to look.

Panman

Expert Tracker

Somehow located everyone connected to the hunting team trying to take him down within a very short timespan despite having virtually no contact with any of them.

Stealth Skills

Panman has shown a strong ability to move around quietly. He snuck around Hope's house without being heard, and she only discovered someone was in there due to her robot fish which detects motion. He’s often appearing out of nowhere like most serial killers, implying a good bit of stealth work. He is a legend around the world, he’s remained hidden enough that most people don’t even believe he exists. 

Resistances

The Ginosaji

Cold weather

He was unphased when the weather so cold, there were icicles hanging off of their spoon

Fire/Heat

He walked through a flamethrower completely unphased.

Pain

The Ginosaji doesn’t ever really show to acknowledge pain. It's only ever been pushed over from the force of a hit, but it’s shaken off being stabbed or shot repeatedly with little issue.

Panman

Pain

Panman has taken severe bearings that have slammed him through a table, off a 1 story building, and even a stab wound, and can power through it. At most, only needing a moment to recover

Feats

The Ginosaji

Overall

  • Lived for centuries, tormenting anyone in Jacks bloodline including Jack for over a dozen years…. With A Spooooon

  • Powered through any weapon Jack could get his hands on, which included tanks

  • Is an extremely slow murderer with an extremely inefficient weapon

  • Is a really stupid killer

  • Will eventually be a really stupid movie.. maybe… we still are waiting

Strength

Speed

Durability

Intelligence

Panman

Overall

  • Was a successful chef prior to his death

  • Murdered anyone who knew the recipe to his secret poached salmon

  • Wiped out all of Professors Hunters hunters

  • Was a world infamous killer that never truly was caught 

  • Is a really stupid killer

  • Is a really really stupid movie

Strength 

Speed

Durability

Intelligence

Weaknesses

The Ginosaji

The Ginosaji is a near unstoppable spoon hitting machine, but even he has his flaws. He insists on using a spoon, no matter what. Even when given more effective weapons like knives, he will throw them aside. This can lead to some cases like him trying to cut a wire with a spoon and failing. The Ginosaji also seems to drag out their victims' death. They have shown to hit strong enough to break Jack's hand with one swing, but did this to prevent him from fighting back. He immediately started to tap him with much weaker hits. He even prevents Jack from killing himself at times, so he wouldn’t escape the situation, or from other people killing him.

Panman

Panman, while a world famous and super elusive killer, still has his own weaknesses. A stupid killer having some stupid weaknesses. Mainly, Pesto acts like his kryptonite, and will cause him to become paralyzed, and eventually die. This isn’t the only way, as it’s said cuttin his head off is another solution that will permanently kill him. He also needs another nearby host to take over should his own host die, else he likely will stay dead. And even his His possession can be fought back with strong emotion or will, both stated and shown a few times in the movie

Scaling

The Ginosaji

Jack Cucciaco

Panman

Bo

Summary

The Ginosaji

Advantages

  • Stronger and Tougher

  • Way more enduring physically

  • More and better abilities

  • Far more experienced

  • Stronger possession

  • Far better stamina


Disadvantages

  • Horribly slow and inefficient

  • Not as smart and arguably not as good of a fighter

Panman

Advantages

  • Notably faster

  • Far more varied arsenal

  • Much better weapons

  • Pot was better armor

  • Smarter and Arguably a better fighter

  • All around more skilled as a killer

  • Much harder to kill permanently


Disadvantages

  • Weaker and less durable

  • Has no means to Kill The Ginosaji

  • Weaker possession

Before the Verdicts…

Ginosajifest

There are some pictures on the official twitter and Facebook that depict The Ginosaji as doing things like fighting Superman, or tipping The Leaning Tower of Pisa. These however are all not the original Ginosaji. The video itself even specifies it’s just fans dressing up as Ginosaji, and that he is even one of the judges himself. So any video or images that come from the official Facebook or twitter from these events will not be considered. 


Los Angeles Event

He did make an appearance at the Los Angeles Spoon walk. This is actually meant to be the real Ginosaji, so we did give the potential of what this offered. His giant spoon is considered, as well, we use some things in this video as back up evidence to what he can do, such as take bullets, or sword fight. However, due to this being an event with fans of the series cosplaying, this very easily can be written off, and as such, should be noted to be debatable, and only used more as back up to the original stories of The Ginosaji. We also used no crossover scaling to whatever characters he fought here.

Track Name

Kitchen Nightmares

Verdict

Buttersamuri

This fight is extremely stupid, and I don’t regret looking into it. When I learned about The Panman movie, I had to look into this fight. The movie was even more stupid than I anticipated. But Ginosaji is also really really stupid, so it evens out. It was funny to see some ways they matched each other, like sharing powers like teleportation and possession, while still holding their clear edges. This 


Stats

This is a pretty straight forward story. The Ginosaji can tank RPGs and dynamite explosives with little if any damage. Even the weakest RPG warheads are worth 878,640 Joules. And a stick of dynamite is worth 1 megajoule, and it appears the one Jack detonates is a stack of them, implying these numbers could be much higher. The best The Panman ever took was being slammed through a table. We see it split in half, and all the legs shattered. At best, we could scale him to the average fragmentation of one, which gets about 310,731.6366 joules. And their durability should scale to their attack potency. Jack was able to kick The Ginosaji hard enough to tear through his skin, and Panman has been tackled or hurt by other humans he can keep up with. He isn’t presented as necessarily superhuman compared to other people. But if you want to make the case that they are supposed to be stone walls, then Panman sits at 4,800 joules for hitting someone’s head off their body, where Ginosaji can break bones and crack skulls which gets 375 to 9,920 joules. While the lower end might be notably lower, but it should be a good deal higher than the lower ends due to both cracking the skull, which is a notably larger bone, and the hand being several, albeit smaller ones. Then, there’s The Ginosaji physically holding himself away from a Large hadron collider electromagnet. The world's strongest magnet. Notably weaker magnets can lift up entire cars, and this one can have a field of 8 Tesla, or around 10 billion joules of energy. Now The Ginosaji quite clearly doesn’t scale to the full brunt of this, but to resist this pull of magnetic force would still be way stronger than anything Panman has done. Even in his worst case, Ginosaji is just a bit weaker than him through breaking bones.


But now we start getting to Panman advantages. The Ginosaji isn’t called the Horribly Slow murderer for no reason. He’s got very little in terms of speed outside of jumping on a car as it drove at him. This could be impressive, but he clearly has a large amount of time to see this car coming and prepare his jump. This is something a normal human is fully capable of doing if they time their jump. While you could try and argue the intent is he’s superhuman, it doesn’t contradict the fact he’s supposed to be slow. The Panman meanwhile has two very blatant superhuman feats. Twice, he’s able to react to knife throwing, and the second time, even moves his entire body in the way to intercept it. The Panman all together should be able to react and move a lot faster than Ginosaji.


Arsenal abilities

Two supernatural killers have to have some abilities, and these two… well they are pretty lacking in actual powers. But. There’s still a clear winner when it comes to abilities. Both can teleport, and both can possess people. But Ginosaji has way more than just that. Firstly, his possession is far stronger, as Panmans possession has been stated to be able to be resisted by some humans, and the ending implied Jeremy almost kicked him out entirely. Professor Hunter also resisted his commands in trying to make him kill himself. It’s clear, Panman doesn’t hold a lot of control of his victims have a strong enough will. And given The Ginosaji has the will to attack someone relentlessly for dozens of years, with no rest. I would call him pretty determined. It’s stated he would follow him to the ends of the universe, so Ginosaji has a strong likelihood of resisting Panmans possession. Meanwhile Ginosajis possession seems unnoticeable and no signs there was any chance to resist it. Panman does have some stealth and could try to go for a sneak kill, but there’s a chance he likely couldn’t see him if The Ginosaji didn’t want him to. He shows to be invisible to all other people except Jack, and can still interact with the world, such as tearing a bag on Jack's head so he wouldn’t suffocate. Both have skills in tracking opponents, but Panman is the only one who could be tracked in this instance, as Panman has never found someone invisible and has no methods to keep track of him, even with his enhanced senses. Even if he did. Then Regeneration plus his relentless immortality becomes another issue. Ginosaji can have limbs cut off and still use them, plus heal from that, and be shot or stabbed several times in short time periods. Panman has no such healing factor as he still is just a ghost possessing a human. Which then brings us to our next bit, Physiology. The Panman is human, and his body has those limits. While permanently killing him requires Pesto or decapitation, he still is limited to what a human body can do. The Ginosaji however has what you expect from a demon. Black goop that he’ll spit at people to blind them. Bugs inside its body that will come out of you pierce them. As stated before, regeneration, and relentless immortality. It’s been alive for what’s implied centuries, and has faced dozens of guns and explosives. Its resistance to pain and any environment makes it even harder to actually permanently kill. All backed up by what seems to be energy that never runs out. It doesn’t need food, rest, or even to breathe. It will chase you for days, weeks, and months on end. The Ginosajis abilities and natural physiology is just far beyond the Panman.


But that doesn’t mean Panman is without his own advantages here. Where The Ginosaji has a variety of abilities that it takes the advantage. The Panman has a vastly superior arsenal and debatably fighting skills. The Ginosaji has spoons. Small ones, a big one, and a wooden one. But this arsenal is small and very predictable, not to mention intentionally inefficient. The Panman has used a large variety of weapons across the movie. Anything he can find in the kitchen, down to use the sharp part that cuts the aluminum foil in those cardboard aluminum foil wraps. Whatever is around him, he’ll weaponize. Even if his Pots and Pans aren’t as traditionally weapons, they have far more capability, range, and power than a spoon. Pan lids can be thrown like a frisbee to pierce someone’s chest. His pans are used for blunt attacks to smash people’s heads in or off. And the handle has a sharpened blade to stab and cut through victims. Sharp objects like a corkscrew, or even just knives. He’s not limited to what he can use. He even can even draw out A Fork to fight off The Ginosajis spoon. It won’t be as effective as a knife. But it would be funny. And finally, he does just have a car. This is both a strong attack, just by running things over, and a good defense. Speaking of, The Panman has a giant pan protecting his head. While it’s only his head, this is a solid hit of protection that saves him a few times during the film. The Ginosaji wears no such armor, and wouldn’t ever try to. I could go on. But the point is made clear. Ginosaji has a clear edge in abilities and it’s weird physiology, but Panman has way more and way better weapons and arsenal to work with.


And arguably, just an outright better fighter. It’s true, The Ginosaji has been around for centuries, but it rarely ever fights. We do see it can fight fairly proficiently when Jack attempts to fight back, but Jacks also kind of clumsy and stupid. Not to fully dismiss Ginosajis ability. It’s clear it has proficient aim and skill. It’s been able to disarm Jack of weapons, dodge his attacks, and beat him outright in a spoon to spoon clash. But Panman just fights better. We actually see him train for fighting, and use smarter tactics to take down others. Sneaking up and disarming someone with a knife, and even taking a bodybuilder in a direct fight and winning. Panman isn’t lacking in experience either. It’s implied he’s been doing this for years, quite possibly up to 30. While that doesn’t hold a candle to centuries, Ginosajis methods would leave him not really fighting most of that time. He wouldn’t be outclassed by any means, but his direct and very slow approach doesn’t quite hold as well as Panman. Ginosaji is powerful, but is attacking and generally more incompetent, and weaker person. Panman has variety in his victims. Sometimes they are bigger, sometimes they are stronger, sometimes they are smaller and armed. He’ll always find a way to get the kill on them. Further more, Ginosaji lacks variety. He uses only a spoon and only can fight with it. Panman uses whatever is around, which would give more variety and skill to work with in a fight. His own pan is carved to be a blade and blunt object. Ultimately, variety in his victims, fighting, and weapons give him a clear edge


Conclusion

The Panman is certainly a unique killer, and the specific ways needed to kill him would generally be difficult for someone who doesn’t know. He’s got a way deadlier arsenal, more reason to be a better fighter, and is generally a smarter one. Skills absolutely and in his favor for the most part, where Ginosaji has way more abilities. And in skill vs abilities, abilities takes the cake here. Most of Panmans skills are countered in some way by Ginosajis abilities. Invisibility countering both stealth and tracking. His regeneration, endurance, and immortality helps overpower any issues in a direct fight, and while not as skilled, he has a history of being able to disarm opponents pretty well. Physically speaking, Ginosaji clearly AP and durability, and only falls behind on speed. But Panman can only last so long with just speed and arsenal against him. None of his weapons are really going to due The Ginosaji in. His deadlier weapons like knives and the car, Ginosaji has dealt with before. His regeneration pretty much guarantees that any stab and cut wounds wouldn’t stay long, assuming he can even cut through that durability. There’s a 3.2 difference just from one stick of dynamite alone, and could be much higher with either the stronger RPG ends or more sticks of dynamite. Panman just isn’t killing Ginosaji, even if he could run circles around him. This killer is relentless. His stats, abilities, and immortality would greatly overwhelm Panman very quickly… if this killer didn’t intentionally take forever. This begs the question, would he take forever to kill Panman, because he isn’t Jack, who’s the one he’s trying to torture. I do believe he wouldn’t drag it out on Panman. As I said, he’s not the one who’s cursed here, it’s Jacks bloodline. So he has no real reason to drag it out with Panman, but I don’t think it matters. Even if he drags it out, Panman has nothing he can do to stop him. Every weapon in his arsenal, Ginosaji has already faced, and far more. He’s physically outmatched, and Ginosaji absolutely clears when it comes to Stamina. If he chooses to drag the fight out, then Panman is having a Horribly Slow Death With An Extremely Inefficient Weapon. Ahhh, But could Panman go for Possession? No. Ginosajis possession is just way stronger, and Panmans can be resisted. Many average people have resisted it because of strong will. Ginosaji is so dead set determined, he would follow someone for years or to the ends of the universe. Panman has no reason to be able to hold control over someone that is determined. Panman would likely be first to try possession, but it would fail, and worse case, Ginosaji uses his much stronger possession to take him over instead. Looks like The Ginosaji ironically had more dePandent win conditions, leaving the Panman tasting silver. 


Team Ginosaji - Buttersamuri

Team Panman - 

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